


Sobriety

by Aurumite



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken
Genre: Comedy, F/M, hangovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-22
Updated: 2014-03-07
Packaged: 2018-01-09 14:58:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1147352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurumite/pseuds/Aurumite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hector and Farina wake up together, with major headaches, and all they can remember is that they tried to have a drinking contest. Lyn and Eliwood troll them onward, on a quest to discover what actually happened between them the night before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Which Our Heroes Got Smashed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Quelquefois](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quelquefois/gifts).



Farina awoke when noon sunlight filtered through the slats in the shuttered window, spearing under her eyelids. Her head felt like it was splitting open. Moaning slightly and clenching her eyes tighter, which made the pain worse, she rolled over to the warmth she felt at her back.

Someone had been lying against her, someone who took deep breaths and smelled like ale and leather. She burrowed her face in his broad chest, trying to hide from the faint light, and felt him stir and bury a hand in her hair. It wasn’t until he moaned, just as she had, that she recognized the voice, hoarse but unmistakable:

Hector’s.

“Hey!” she cried, pushing herself away from him hard and getting tangled in the thick blanket over them. “What’s going on?”

“Shut up,” he groaned as he rolled away and covered his eyes with a hand. “Head is killing me.”

Despite how her temples were pounding, so hard that white blotches pulsed in her vision, she forced herself to sit up and take in her surroundings. They were in a room, which felt strange after weeks of sleeping in tents, and she vaguely remembered the army stopping at an inn the night before. It must have been _his_ room, judging by the black breastplate and epaulets she saw leaning in the corner, and the fact that her bag was nowhere to be found. He’d been sleeping with an arm over her waist. The thirst she felt rubbed her throat raw.

And she had no idea why she was there, how it had happened, or why she was in so much pain. She couldn’t remember a thing.

She drew her knees up to her chest, cradled her head in a hand, and contemplated Hector’s back. They hadn’t…gotten up to anything, had they? She couldn’t say she’d never thought about it, what with his shoulders and the constant mischief in his eyes and the fact that he was _filthy_ rich, but she knew her place. She’d never be so forward and she’d never allow him to be. Besides, despite being in bed they were both fully clothed, boots and everything. It didn’t explain what she was doing there, though, or why they’d been curled up like lovers when she woke.

“Why am I here?” she demanded.

“What?” he turned his head a fraction to look back at her, still shading his eyes, blinking blearily. She watched him recognize where they were. “Better question: what the hell is going on?”

“I guess you don’t remember anything, either,” she said with a sigh.

“I remember we all went to that pub…and I’m _assuming_ I drank myself into a stupor, since I feel like I got hit with a war hammer.”

Right, the pub. The army had been so glad to stay in a town for a night, rather than making camp in the wilderness; so glad for hot food and mattresses; so glad for the pub, for a chance to relax, to forget that Dorcas had almost died in the last battle, that Priscilla had just recovered from being poisoned, that Wil had taken an arrow for his lady and gurgled blood, and only Hector himself had been able to drag Lyn back before she charged to the vanguard, armourless, in revenge.

Farina resisted the urge to collapse back down beside Hector and thought harder, and was rewarded with a sudden flash of memory:

_She looked at the kegs of ale lined up behind the bar so neatly and slipped a hand into her pocket, clenching it around the little bag of gold she kept there. Lord Hector had paid her 20,000; surely she wouldn’t miss just a couple pieces in order to enjoy the night? She liked how getting drunk felt, even if she knew it wasn’t a good idea: everything was funny, she always felt more confident, and if ale made her mouth run more than usual, well, it made punches hurt less, too._

_Still, the older she got, the harder it was to spend money on anything she didn’t absolutely need. And she’d promised herself she’d save every bit of what she earned from Lord Hector, so she brought her hand out of her pocket with a sigh._

_That was when she overheard her employer himself teasing Lord Eliwood, as they sat at a table in the corner: “I wish you cold hold your drink. If there’s any night for a drinking contest, it’s this one.”_

_“There’s never a good night for that,” said Eliwood, looking a little indignant. “I don’t understand why you’d want to make yourself sick.”_

_“I won’t get sick, not like_ you _. Besides, I could drink anybody here under the table.”_

_“While this is probably true, I don’t think it’s something to be proud of.”_

_“And I don’t think you’re ever any fun.”_

_“Hey, Lord Hector!” Farina blurted before she could stop herself. “I’ll drink with you!”_

_Both noblemen stopped and looked at her. Eliwood seemed surprised but Hector smiled._

_“Don’t worry about it, Farina, it’s not that big a deal. I wouldn’t want you to regret it in the morning.”_

_“You trying to say I can’t take it?” she said, ruffled. She was always underestimated because of her size and sex, from mercenary work to drinking, but experience had proved to her that she was quite the heavyweight. She could barely feel what would make Florina pass out. Maybe it was because she’d drunk so often, in recent years, but she wasn’t complaining. It made it easier to get out of a tight spot if she had to be sober fast._

_“It’s just that you’re so little,” said Hector. “A contest between me and you wouldn’t be fair.”_

_“I can out-drink you and I’ll prove it!”_

_He looked to Eliwood and raised his eyebrows._

_"No,” said Eliwood._

_“Done,” said Hector, turning back to Farina and ignoring his old friend’s groan. “Let’s do it. We can stop anytime, after all.”_

_“Fine,” she said as she put her hands on her hips, “but on one condition!”_

_"Let me guess. I buy your drinks.”_

_“That’s right,” she said, and plopped down beside him._

She rubbed her temples and moaned, “A drinking contest? Did we actually do that?”

“I said shut up,” he complained back. “My stomach hurts.”

“You big baby.” She lowered herself back down beside him. “What, you’ve never been hungover before?”

“Not like this.”

Neither had she, really—she’d felt like death on plenty of mornings, but it’d never been so bad that she had a hard time even sitting up. She rubbed his back a little, wondering if he’d return the favour later since they were officially comrades in pain, and decided the best thing to do would be to go back to sleep until her head felt better.

She never got the chance. The door creaked open far louder than she thought a door could creak, and a woman’s voice called brightly, “I trust you’ve both survived?” 

Hector just groaned, probably because he recognized the voice faster than Farina did. She had to roll over to be sure, and found Lady Lyndis standing in the doorway with folded arms and a wide smile. 

“You should probably stay out of Eliwood’s way later, Hector,” she said. “He’s pretty angry at you. After throwing away your reputation in front of the whole army like that.” 

Hector’s retort about exactly where Eliwood could stick his reputation was muffled by the pillow, but Farina covered her mouth with a hand and forced herself to sit up again. “Lady Lyn, what do you mean?”

“Hector punched Lowen right in the face,” said Lyn, ticking off items on her long fingers, “you knocked into Kent and bumped him pretty good on the head, Hector fell over a chair and broke it, you spilled ale _everywhere_ , and _both_ of you were pretty…amorous, toward each other. Openly. All night.” That last bit got three fingers, one for each sentence, so that in the end Caelin’s lady was holding seven offenses in her hands.

Farina felt blood rush to her face, which only made her head hurt more. “No! All that can’t be true!”

“Not all of it, no,” said Lyn, and Farina saw the first glint of a joke in her green eyes. “But I won’t tell you what’s true and what’s false. You both can figure all that out on your own; we’ll make a game of it.”

Hector called her something very offensive but she just ignored it: “Well you certainly owe Eliwood and I a little fun after all we had to clean up last night! Now get up and drink some water or something; lazing about will only make you feel worse.

She left and Farina hid her face in her hands.

“Lord Hector…what have we done?”

“We’ll find out, I’m sure,” he said, finally pushing himself up to sit beside her. Sure enough, she felt his hand touch her back, rubbing hers in return. She shivered. “If we wait long enough.”

“I don’t _want_ to wait! We need to figure out what happened _now!_ ”

“Why? We’ve made fools of ourselves; that much is clear. Why know the exact extent of it?”

“I have to know. If anybody ever found out, I might never be hired again. I’d look so irresponsible.” She felt so ashamed that she needed to cover it up, and only an insult would do: “At least we didn’t sleep together. I don’t think I could ever be drunk enough for _that_.”

“That’s not what I remember,” he said, a little hotly.

“Oh, so now you conveniently remember something?”

He paused as if he actually did, and when she watched him she was surprised to see him flush, just a little bit, and absentmindedly touch his neck. “I know I remember feeling…affectionate. Somebody sitting in my lap. And I…”

He looked right at her chest, then, which made her glare and cross her arms so he couldn’t see much. “It must’ve been some other woman!”

“I hope so,” he said, flushing harder, which stung in an odd way. She turned away from him, half in rebuttal and half for some privacy, and pulled out the front of her dress so she could look down at her breasts. One had a bruise on the top that was undoubtedly a love bite. She made a strangled noise of horror.

“There’s another on your neck,” said Hector, who had the good grace to sound ashamed. “It’s enormous.”

“It wasn’t you,” she insisted as she clutched her collar tight around her throat. “I must’ve been with some other man while you were with some other woman.”

It wouldn’t have been right, otherwise. He was her employer, and a lord from a high house besides. And no matter how much she liked him, how much they made each other laugh, that wasn’t going to change.

“Maybe we _should_ find out exactly what happened,” he told her.

She sighed heavily and forced herself to her feet, clutching the bedpost to keep the room from spinning. “What did Lady Lyn say first? You punched Sir Lowen? I guess we’ll have to start with him.”


	2. In Which Lyn is a Troll

Lowen was out training, as always. Hector had figured as much, having basically grown up alongside Eliwood; and wherever Eliwood was, Marcus and his squire were never far behind.

Farina followed him to the inn’s courtyard where the knight was jousting away against Sir Marcus himself, squinting at how the sun made her head ache. Hector called Lowen over and he dismounted immediately, joining them at the inn’s doorway and pulling his helmet off as he came.

“Yes, milord?” he asked.

“I think I owe you an apology, Lowen,” said Hector.

It was so difficult to tell what the knight was thinking, thought Farina, with so much hair in the way. Had his eyebrows lowered? Had his eyes widened? Who knew.

“You don’t owe me any such thing, Lord Hector.” He sounded confused.

“I don’t? Well…I know I got carried away, last night. Don’t get into a drinking contest with this one,” he warned, gesturing to Farina, who bristled, “because she’s no joke. Anyway, Lyn told me I’d hit you. I can’t imagine why, but…I can’t remember anything about last night.”

“You didn’t do anything of the sort, Lord Hector.”

“Well, damn her. Let’s go find Kent.” He turned abruptly and went back into the inn. Farina thanked Lowen for his time, but noticed he stammered his reply.

“It’s my neck, isn’t it,” she said dryly.

“W-well, I didn’t mean—”

“Lowen, you have to tell me what happened.”

“I don’t know, I promise. The last I saw, you both were just having a drinking contest. The army was gathered around and you were simply…speaking freely.”

“How so?” she asked, now a little wary.

“You cursed him. A great noble like Lord Hector. And he called you much worse.”

“Sounds about right.” She could remember now, very vaguely, just a snatch:

  _Take that, wench!” he said, slamming down another tankard. The army had gathered to watch their little contest, all surprised that Farina hadn’t gone under the table after her third._

  _Wench? You’ve confused me with your mother,” she said as she finished hers._

_”It must be my fixation with your chest.“_

_”Hector!” came Eliwood’s reprimanding cry, but her head was swimming pleasantly and she decided to take that as a compliment as she gave him a cheery,_

_”Go to hell.”_

_”Farina!” This time it was Florina’s turn to be scandalized, although her target himself grinned and saluted her with the next round._

Blushing, she went back into the inn, not wanting to fall behind Hector.

XxX

They found Kent bent over something in the common room, sitting at a table with his back to them. It was paperwork for the inventory, Farina was sure, because Kent was just as boring as Fiora, and Fiora was always helping with the inventory.

The real problem, she knew, would be getting him to admit to anything. He was way too quiet and rather shy, and might just insist that she hadn’t actually knocked him over and hurt his head if he thought it would embarrass her, especially with Hector right there.

So that meant she had to do some hands-on research.

Ignoring Hector’s raised eyebrow, she sneaked up behind him and raked her hands through his hair. He jumped right out of his chair and she took a quick step back. No bumps that she could feel!

“Farina!” he said as he smoothed his hair to its proper position. “What in Elimine’s name was that for?”

“You’re fun to mess with,” she lied.

He gave her a critical look. “This is because of Lady Lyndis’s game, isn’t it. I said that I wanted no part of it.”

“I just wanted to make sure I didn’t hurt you, last night,” said Farina. “She said I knocked you over and you hit your head.”

“You couldn’t have. I wasn’t even _in_ the inn at the time; I was off chasing Sain.”

Farina resisted the urge to smack her forehead, since that would only make her headache worse. They couldn’t stop in a town for a single night without Sain getting dragged off by some woman. Half the time he didn’t even ask for it; they were just all over him, and of _course_ he could never tell a _lady_ no.

“Besides,” said Kent, now sounding rather offended, “by the time we returned, you looked as if you had no intention of rising, let alone running into someone.”

 Another memory returned, very brief: _sitting on someone’s lap, hot lips against her neck, her fingers in Hector’s hair while he whispered into her ear,_

_“The day you fainted, I realized you mean a lot to me.”_

Startled, she looked to him, and while he seemed embarrassed, she couldn’t tell if he was remembering anything at all, let alone the same moment. Did that really happen? Was she imagining things, now?

“Sorry, Kent,” she said faintly, ashamed of herself. His disapproval was always as quiet as her sister’s, but just as fierce.

“You did not inconvenience or hurt me,” he said to brush it away. Satisfied with that, but doubtlessly even angrier at Lyn, Hector ducked into the kitchen, probably to speak to the innkeep about broken chairs and spilled ale. Before Farina could follow, Kent put a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Please be cautious,” he said. “Understand that because of your stations, it would never work between you both.”

She opened her mouth for some angry retort about how she wouldn’t want to be with a big stupid oaf like Hector anyway, but Kent continued,

“But for what it’s worth, I sincerely wish it could.”

She didn’t know what to say to that. So he sat back down and she went into the kitchens after Hector.

XxX

She reached his side just in time to hear him be assured by the cooks that no chairs were broken the night before and no great amount of ale was spilled, despite the general rowdiness of the army. They seemed most grateful, but Hector was now baffled, and when he looked to her, Farina could only shrug. He motioned for her to follow him back outside, where they could stand in the shade under the porch without being overheard.

“Well,” he said, “nothing Lyn’s said has been true, so far. Do you think all of it was a lie? Just to get revenge on us?”

“There’s one thing we can’t prove or disprove, yet,” she answered softly. _Both_ _of you were pretty amorous, toward each other. Openly. All night._

“Damn it,” Hector sighed. “I know.”

“Besides, there’s something else we still have to figure out.”

“There is?”

Obviously his head was still hurting too much to think, not that he ever thought much, anyway. She put her hands on her hips.

“Well, of course. This all started because of a drinking contest, right? We still don’t know who _won_!”

“Oh,” he said nonchalantly. “I thought that one was probably obvious. It had to have been me.”

“What?! That’s not so! It could just as easily have been _me!_ ”

“You don’t know that!”

“Neither do you!”

He thought for a long while, and then sighed again. “Let’s go ask Eliwood.”

“That’ll be useless; he’s Lady Lyn’s cohort, right now! We made his night just as miserable as we made hers, I bet.”

“Probably. But I have my ways.”

He strode off right away, toward the room Eliwood had upstairs, and she followed dubiously.


	3. In Which Eliwood Doesn't Get Paid Enough For This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Dropping dead like a sack of potatoes” refers to Hector and Farina’s A support, where she faints in the middle of the battle.
> 
> This chapter was beta'd by Rexnos on Fanfiction.net. Gracias, man.

“Eliwood,” said Hector as he burst into the room.

“I know I’ve talked to you before about knocking,” he said calmly. Farina peeked under Hector’s arm to see that he was sitting at the room’s wooden table, writing something (probably boring). He didn’t even look up.

“I need answers before my head splits open and you’re going to give them to me.”

“We’ve talked about saying ‘please,’ too.”

Hector gave an inarticulate growl, and Farina realized then that Eliwood was toying with them just as Lyn had—but more subtly. She decided to try her luck, since Hector was terrible with subtle things.

“Lord Eliwood,” she ventured as she stepped around him and into the room, “we’d like to apologize for whatever trouble we’ve caused, but…we actually have no idea what trouble we’ve caused. So far the inn is intact, and Lowen and Kent are both okay.”

“Which means Lyn was spewing _bullsh_ —“

“Hector,” Eliwood said, “there is a lady present.”

“Is there? Is there really? Because Lyn seems to think, even though she’s a _liar—_ ”

“Please, Lord Eliwood,” Farina interrupted, not wanting to get into what Lyn thought of her or her reputation. “Please just tell us the truth.”

“See?” Eliwood asked Hector as he gestured to her, finally looking up from his papers. “Tact. You should obtain eight tankards of _that_.”

“Eight?” Hector sounded impressed, and turned to Farina with that damn smug smile. “I told you I won.”

“I can drink eight, easy!”

“And so you did,” said Eliwood flatly as he returned to his work.

“Come on,” said Hector. “Are you going to tell us or what?”

“No. I think not.”

“You bring this upon yourself,” said Hector in a warning tone. “I’ll tell her about the first time I got _you_ drunk.”

The colour drained from Eliwood’s face. “You will not.”

 “Try me!”

 “A gentleman does not give in to brute force or idle threats to his reputation.”

 “Okay,” said Hector as he turned to Farina, “keep in mind that at this point in our lives, Eliwood had never even held a girl’s hand before. We sneak out one night and—”

 “All right, all right!” Eliwood said as he stood. “Get inside and close the door!”

 “I don’t give _idle_ threats,” said Hector, and shut it behind them with a grin.

 “First things first,” said Farina. “Who won the contest?”

 “The contest was abandoned,” Eliwood said tiredly, leaning against the edge of the desk. “So I suppose it was a stalemate.”

 Hector looked at her and she could read his thoughts easily: Abandoned? That couldn’t be right. They were both far too competitive for that.

 “You’re lying like Lyn,” Hector challenged, but Eliwood only flushed.

 “I am not!”

 “I’d never leave a contest unfinished!”

 “Apparently you will, if she climbs into your lap and you decide to give her _that_!” Eliwood gestured to the giant mark on her neck and she glared back. Hector was quick to argue,

 “You can’t prove that! It’s more believable to say I trounced her and went off with another woman while she was with another man!”

 “You—” Farina started, but Eliwood cut her off:

 “When has Lyn ever lied, Hector? Ever? Her upbringing forbids it. If she’s told you that some things are true and some are false, then something _must_ be true. And you’ve proven everything else false.”

 But he blushed deeper as he said it, and Farina could tell something was fishy.

 “There’s more,” she guessed.

 “N-Not much more.”

 “Please?” she tried again, opening her eyes to look innocent, which made Hector snort:

 “A little late for that now, Farina.”

 “Just be at ease knowing that most of the army had retired, by then.” Eliwood had started to stammer. “Your actions were uncomfortable enough, but the things you were _saying_ to each other—you especially, Hector—I mean—it was so—“ He didn’t seem able to finish his sentence.

“It was so what?” Hector demanded. He took a step forward and Eliwood took one back, behind his chair.

“Neither of you were thinking clearly, so what does it matter? Why just embarrass you both now?”

"You have to.” Hector stepped around the chair and Eliwood moved with him, putting the desk between them. Before Farina knew it, they were circling around it, Hector chasing and Eliwood fleeing with every exchange:

“The past is the past, Hector. No damage was done and we should all move on.”

“I mean it, Eliwood!”

“I shan’t!”

“ _Tell_ us!” Hector made a grab over the desk and Eliwood sprang back, narrowly avoiding it.

“What did I tell you about tact?”

With a growl, Hector vaulted clear over the desk and pinned Eliwood to the wall. “I’m not going to ask you again!”

“Maybe when you and I are alone, then,” he answered, looking less intimidated and more world-weary. “Farina doesn’t deserve to relive any of this.”

“No way,” said Farina. “This is my business just as much as it is his. If I said something stupid I want to know, and if _he_ said something stupid, he said it to _me_.”

“So you might as well admit defeat,” said Hector, letting Eliwood go to fold his arms.

Eliwood pressed his lips together before he told him, quietly, “You asked her to return to Ostia with you, if you both survived all this.”

Hector, to Farina’s astonishment, turned bright red. She began to tremble a little as he blustered, “What? No way.”

“And pet names,” Eliwood added. “You called her the most ridiculous pet names.” Hector’s retort was to grab the front of his shirt and slam him against the wall again, but he only sighed. “Do you see why I shouldn’t have told you? Those are difficult words to hear when they’re not _meant_.”

“How the hell do you know they weren’t meant?”

Hector was still red, and Farina voiced a disbelieving, quavering “What?”, but Eliwood wasn’t done yet:

“And _you_ ,” he continued, now to her, past the tense bulk of Hector’s arm as if he wasn’t being accosted in any manner whatsoever, “asked that Hector take you to his room. And not just that night, but always. Lyndis and I intervened then, although it was clear that you both were going to be too busy throwing up to start anything amorous.”

She blushed like the men were, so hard and so fast that her head began to pound again.

“Sure, I said that!” she managed. “He’s got a nicer room than me! I just wanted to sleep somewhere without a draft, is all!”

Hector dropped Eliwood and turned to face her, shock slapped across his face. “You wanted me?”

“He only said I wanted to go to your room,” she said lightly. “Maybe to have tea.”

“Oh, of course,” Eliwood muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Farina, I—if I’d known— _every night_? Like a husband? That’s serious.” He had a strange, steady look in his eyes that wasn’t quite lust. She realized in a moment that it was awe. “You really wanted to start something serious with _me?_ ”

“I know my place, Lord Hector!”

“That’s not what I asked.”

She felt her eyes start to sting with humiliation. She couldn’t be serious with _Lord Hector_ of _Ostia_. She was nobody. She couldn’t sleep with him or sleep _next_ to him or go back to Ostia and court him; she couldn’t be a lady and help take care of all the peasants. She _was_ a peasant, and she couldn’t even take care of her own sisters or fight a battle without dropping half-dead like a sack of potatoes.

“Farina,” he said in a quieter voice, “nobody takes me seriously.”

“That’s not serious!” she protested uselessly. She’d always felt for him; leave it to her to get drunk enough to admit it! “Asking me to move to your _home_ with you is _serious_!”

“I knew this would happen, if I said something,” said Eliwood. “Look, you both got carried away, is all. Let’s not let any awkward feelings dampen the morale. The contest was a stalemate, you each blew off steam, and nothing reckless happened. So we can all go back to the way things were, right?”

Hector thought about this for a minute, looking at her so intently it made her feel nervous. Finally he answered “No,” and grabbed her arm, pulling her against him for a kiss.

Her first instinct was to break away: he was a lord still, and her employer at that, and who knew if they’d both even survive the war? Eliwood was right: it was stupid to start a romance now, stupid to feel anything at all. But she couldn’t help it; his lips felt familiar, and the kiss was surprisingly tender. As her eyes slipped shut she heard Eliwood mutter,

“For heaven’s sake.”

That made Hector break away, smiling rather roguishly, and she glanced at Eliwood to see that he’d covered his eyes with a hand—although whether he was exasperated or embarrassed, she wasn’t sure. The thought made her smile, too.

“That’s it,” he said without looking at them, like he feared they might start something more indecent right there in front of him. “I’m done. Tell Lyn I did my best.”

He beat a hasty retreat, and Farina put a hand over her mouth to cover a little laugh. Everything seemed so absurd that she couldn’t help it. Hector removed it to kiss her again.

“The poor man,” she said when he broke away. “We’ve caused him too much trouble.”

“He got off easy, compared to Lyn. Let’s go; it’s time for our vengeance. Besides, I have a question she needs to answer.”

“What question?” she asked as he took her hand and pulled her into the hallway. “What vengeance? Lady Lyn seems near-invincible.”

“I don’t know how to get it out of her, yet, but I’ll think of something.”

“Get _what_ out of her?”

“After all that trouble, they still put us in the same bed. That doesn’t make sense, does it? And I bet she’s not going to tell us why, so we’ll have to blackmail it out of her.”

“Speaking of that: what was your blackmail against Lord Eliwood?” she asked curiously as they travelled down the hall. “I have to hear the end of the story, now.”

"Oh, there’s no story,” he said with a grin. “That’s the funniest part. I got him drunk before he realized it, I took him to a tavern, and some woman climbed into his lap and tried to get him to pay her for her time. He just ended up crying all over her because he was so ashamed to be drunk. He thought that if she approached him, she must have thought he was the sort of man who would use someone like that, and he couldn’t bear the idea that anyone could even _think_ that of him. He didn’t touch her and ended up paying her anyway, so she could be at ease for a night, but he hates when I tell people the story. Like it’s his fault that she picked him in the first place.”

“I think,” she said, “this is the strangest army I’ve ever gotten mixed up in.”

“It’s probably about to get worse,” said Hector as he stopped, released her hand, and knocked extremely hard on the door they stood before. Lyn swung it open, already rolling her eyes.

“Did you have to knock like that? I thought you had a headache.”

He shouldered her aside, and once Farina was in the room, shut the door behind them all. “We just spoke with Eliwood. He told us everything. It wasn’t nice to send us on a wild goose chase like that.”

“And it wasn’t nice to make us clean up your vomit all night,” she snapped back, folding her arms. “Thank your gods you don’t have long hair, because I certainly wasn’t holding it back.”

“We’ve caused you a lot of trouble—” Farina began, but Hector cut her apology off:

“And you’ve gotten your revenge. We’re even, now, and we all know the truth. But I still have a question.”

“What makes you think I feel like answering it?”

“So help me, I will pull your gods-damned hair so hard—“

Halfway through his bluff, Farina had an idea. Hector’s blackmail had helped them with Eliwood, but he was no match for Lyn. Farina had to come up with something, this time.

“We bothered Kent,” she blurted, making both of them stop and look at her. “He said he didn’t want any part of your game, but we went to him for answers anyway, because he wouldn’t ever lie. I bet he didn’t go to sleep, either, while you were up having a hard time. If you won’t tell us, we’ll have to go back to him.”

“He doesn’t deserve that,” she said sharply, and Hector grinned.

“Maybe I should go downstairs and ask him how last night went; him staying up with his lady. Tell him I’m keeping an eye on him.”

“Hector, how dare you—he doesn’t—I wouldn’t—!”

They had her. He squeezed Farina’s hand for a second before he said,

“Answer me this: how come, after all that carrying on and complaining and saying that Farina and I scandalized the entire army, you and Eliwood put us in the same bed? That was just _asking_ for something get messy.”

Lyn rolled her eyes again and answered, “You were both _way_ too drunk and exhausted to do anything, especially after all the puking. Eliwood took care of you and I took care of Farina, but you both kept asking about the other, so we figured…well, Eliwood said we shouldn't separate you.”

“It was _his_ idea? I don’t believe that.”

“It’s true,” she said, shifting a little uncomfortably. “He said that if Ninian were still alive, he’d never pass up the chance to stay with her. Just to sleep beside her. He didn’t want to deny that to you two, even if in the morning you both realized it was just the ale talking.”

Hector opened his mouth and closed it again. Farina didn’t know what to say to that, either.

“So I guess,” Lyn said, a little gently, “we didn’t want you to waste a good thing. Just in case it _was_ a good thing. I had my doubts on your end, Hector.”

“Hey!” He reined in his temper with a deep breath. “Well…I guess I should thank you both, then. This worked out all right. Even though you probably didn’t want us to _start_ such a good thing in such a manner,” he added with a laugh that was—if Farina didn’t know any better—a little embarrassed. He was looking at her again, all of a sudden. “I think you deserve an apology most of all, Farina.”

“I’ve had enough stomach-churning moments for a while,” said Lyn. “Can’t you be romantic in your own room?”

“The romance has only started. I think we’ll go find Kent right now and tell him that you feel—”

“Don’t you dare!”

Lyn was on him in a second, and Farina had to yank her off, everybody hollering.

“If you breathe a _word_ , Hector, I will find you in your sleep and—“

“You’re not strong enough to slice _bread_ with that little knife of yours, let alone my throat!”

“Can you two just _calm down?_ I didn't get paid for this!”

Farina finally managed to pull Hector out the door, promising Lyn over her shoulder that she’d make him behave.

“And you’re welcome!” Lyn shouted to him as they went. “I knew you’d never find a woman without my help!”

The door was closed before he could retort.

“I’m definitely saying something to Kent,” he muttered, but didn’t move. For a moment they just stood out in the hallway. The silence was new and a little awkward.

“I’m sorry my friends are terrible,” he said finally.

“I guess they knew best, in the end.”

“Yeah.” There was silence for another long moment, until he finally said, “Hey. Farina.”

“What?” Her heart leapt up into her throat when he leaned close to her, locked his eyes on hers very sincerely. His voice softened as he told her,

“It wasn’t fair to say it drunk, so I’ll do it sober: come back to Ostia with me. If we both survive this.”

“All right,” she told him, smiling. “If I can ask you, sober, to stay the night.”

He raised an eyebrow, all his usual devilishness back in his face. “To sleep ‘beside you’ or to sleep _with_ you?”

“Does it matter?”

“No,” he said after a moment of thought, almost as if surprised with himself. “It doesn’t.”

“Good,” she said. “So can we go back to sleep right now, then? My head is still killing me.”

“Aye.”

They trooped down to the kitchen for water and carried their cups back upstairs: to Farina’s room, this time, since Hector’s bed probably smelled like their previous night.

“Here’s to never doing this again,” said Hector, tapping his cup against hers before they drank deeply and climbed into bed. They fell asleep the way they woke: curled up like lovers.


End file.
